Post Gathering Depression!

Hey ninjas! How you all doing? I hope you had a great time during the 19th annual Gathering of The Juggalos. So now that Whoop Stock is over with, are you suffering from PGD? (Post Gathering Depression) Well, have no fear cause your boy Hormel Jay has something for your depressed asses. One of the staff members here at Juggalo News, sent me list of what you ninjas can do to avoid Post Gathering Depression. You might have saw her and visited or you might not but either way, this is what Sativa Syllie sent me about how to beat PGD!

Now that we’ve gathered and lathered, the infamous Post Gathering Depression begins to creep in. I met quite a few newbies this year, and they usually get it there worst, so it’s time for a bit if help with the dreaded PGD.

– ALWAYS, ALWAYS, CALL YOUR MOM!
– Take your tent and pop it up in your yard, then put your stuff in. Now go get the water hose and fill the tent with water. Next, you wanna get in the tent and zip tie it closed so you can’t get out.
– Yell at random strangers “Show me your butthole!” (We may lose a few of you with this one, but you’d be surprised at how many buttholes you’ll see)
– Drive to Walmart the next time you need to poop. Make your way to the closest bathroom in the store and do your business. When you’re finished, make sure to tell any employees you see that you’ll see themĀ tomorrow!
– Go leave a poop dollar at your local hang out spot and wait for the fun to begin!
– Instead of driving anywhere, walk to your destination. To make it work, be sure you choose a path full of rocks that goes up hill…. Both ways!
– Buy fireworks in bulk and shoot them at random times during the day and at anyone that passes by. Go ahead and shoot yourself with one or two, just to make it authentic
– Take the coldest shower you can, then walk directly out into the yard and roll around for a bit. It’s even more effective if you do this while it’s raining.
– Rent a porta-potty for a week and invite all the people you know to come use it every day. Be sure to only put one roll of toilet paper in and don’t clean it. On the last day, drop in a cherry bomb and run away as fast as possible. You may even want to ask one of your friends to go ahead and do their business on top of the porta-potty.
– Any time you see a long line, just go stand it. Even if you don’t know what the line is for, the waiting is the most important part. Do this as many times as possible for as long as possible.
– Rent a golf cart and build a tent filled obstacle course in your yard. Having a few drinks and a few blunts beforehand makes this task more authentic. Make sure when you hit a tent, you autograph it and drive away immediately hit another one. Ask a few of your friends if they’ll walk through this obstacle course and step in front of you from time to time.
– spend at least an hour making your face paint look awesome, then pour an entire two liter of faygo on your head. Don’t be a wuss and use the diet, non sticky faygo. Go with a 3 liter of that good ol’ sticky grape faygo! Once you’ve emptied that bottle, hug as many people as you can, making sure you smear face paint on every surface you encounter.
– Set a custom alarm for an hour or so after you go to sleep. Personalize it with a recording of someone yelling “FUCK YO SLEEP!” Do this any and every time you decide to get some shut eye.
– Turn on every television and radio you own on full blast. Now decide which one you want to listen to the most and try to hear that and only that while the other noise continues around you.
See you all next year for the Super Gathering!!!
– Sativa Sylli

So there you ninjas go! Follow this list and you too can beat PGD! Until next time, peace!

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